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Baby Erwin

One year feels like an eternity. It was about this time last year, when I took a swift pause to enjoy the experience that was to unfold. Beginning of December 2018, I found out I was pregnant and a miniature beating heart was shown to me on the tiny black-and-white screen by a lovely doctor with an East-German accent. The months to come were marked by permanent queasiness and vacillating moods. It came then, a better time that lasted for a few weeks, and about the term I was to meet my son, I could barely move myself around. Everybody around me kept telling me to “enjoy”, but the feeling was so radical so high and exceptional to me that I could not entirely grasp it. My body changed drastically as a whole. My brain re-setted.

The 1st of August this year, at almost 9 o´clock, I heard for the first time the voice that was about to viscerally transform my days and to give even the most mundane gesture a whole new meaning.

Erwin André, our son, is today 100 days old. His body smells like toasty organic pudding, his toy-sized feet are moist and feel like mini erasers. He laughs a lot, especially at his own reflection in the mirror, he giggles and babbles, chuckles, mumbles and grumbles and cries, he drools and farts, his hands reach and fumble everywhere, he kicks his legs and just won´t stay still.

My father visited us about a month ago and gave me a deeply touching gift: a sketchbook, a box of oil pastels, to keep up with my work and a bottle of Bulgari´s Omnia…

To honour our son´s arrival and to resume with my previous mosaic project, “The Skin of 100 Smells” (“La Peau des 100 Odeurs”), I will start, as of tomorrow, the “100 Days with Erwin”. My time management changed and the hours for creative work shrank drastically, yet I will try to dedicate a few minutes from the day for a drawing to mark an instant of the day, for 100 days. Let´s see how I can commit.

As of now, Erwin sleeps next to me, in his rainbow hoodie, it is 17:51h pm in Berlin, but it feels like 10h pm and I can taste the muggy fog outside announcing a long winter…

Just one more, to all you mothers out there, to all you parents out there, before I go breastfeeding, you are all heroes. A few months ago, I could not imagine to what point your work is monumental. 🙏

 

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19 thoughts on “Baby Erwin”

  2. Welcome Erwin at 100 days! He looks blissfully peaceful and beautiful. I am so thrilled for you, Luiza, and can truly empathise with both the wonder and the workload. A year ago, to our delight and surprise, we became grandparents for the first time and now drive once a week to London to look after our darling grandson so that our daughter can get to her studio for a few hours. Then, seven months ago to our even greater surprise, our other daughter in Chicago had a daughter, so we have had a year of travel, mesmerising cuddles, lots of chaos, laughter and less than ideal sleep.Our daughters and husbands have been stretched to their limits and we none of us would have missed this for the world.

    I wish you, your partner and Erwin lots of fun, as much sleep as you can grab and, believe me, you will find the time for your work.

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    1. Oh my God, dear Hilary, so wonderful to hear from you! Thank you so much!!! Congratulations to you too, on becoming grandparents!!! First of all, congratulations on having two daughters – i should say!! 🙂 Your daughters are extremely lucky to have you on their side! It´s something I can now appreciate with all heart after I had my mom here, after giving birth…and knowing that I can always count on her. The support is priceless. Thank you so much for your supportive words about work – it feels good to be reminded that. Little by little am coming back on the creative track… A huge triple hug from us three!

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  5. Oh Luiza! I’ve been thinking about you the past few weeks, and meaning to get in touch to say hello— and then this post landed in my inbox. Congratulations and Happy Happy wishes to you! Erwin looks amazing and I hope you are all very well 🙂 That’s a big change since I saw you in Berlin, and it sounds like a wonderful one. I’m so happy for you! xo

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    1. Dear Liz, how great to hear from you!! ❤ Thank you so much!!…Yeah, it´s crazy how another human can transform your life hahah… 🙂 🙂 Hope to see you soon in Berlin!! Have an amazing time and the best vibes+inspiration in the world! Big big hugs from the 3 (!) of us! 😘😘😘

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